I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
