I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
