We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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