By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
