when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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