Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
