dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
