How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
thus making me awesome and them whores
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize