Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
