We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
