I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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