did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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