Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
