First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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