I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
