Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
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