If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
