I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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