my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
