I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
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