sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
i think i just lost a toe
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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