Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Randomize
