have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
