he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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