Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
