My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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