Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
