my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
