I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
