if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Randomize
