when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
