I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I think a kid would responsible me up
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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