There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
You ruined the universe
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
