Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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