If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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