is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
