I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
