So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
