In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I am one with the molecules
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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