Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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