You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
