I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
