So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
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