I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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