Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
