Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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