we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
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