He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
