You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Randomize
