Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
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