I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Of course I have a pirate flag
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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