i was rollin on her like bob the builder
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
