After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize