i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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