should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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