She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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