We're facebook friends in real life
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
