Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
