Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
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